Applying the Love Principle to our Debate

When I was a young man, there were many areas of grey in my life. By grey I mean areas to which the Scriptures did not speak directly. As I have grown older, the grey areas have diminished greatly. However, there are still areas upon which well meaning individuals can disagree. These are the areas Warren W. Wiersbe was referring to when he wrote, “Some activities we know are wrong, because the Bible clearly condemns them. Other activities we know are right, because the Bible clearly commands them. But when it comes to areas that are not clearly defined in Scripture, we find ourselves needing some other kind of guidance.” This issue isn’t a new one. Paul addressed it in his Letter to the Romans. I believe Romans 14 provides the guidance we need. Here are the five things we should always keep in mind, when discussing issues we don’t agree upon.

First, we should respect the opinions of others. Paul wrote, “Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions” (Romans 14:1 NASB). We can respect someone’s opinion even if we don’t agree with it. This doesn’t mean we can’t give a alternate interpretation. It does mean we are to give it without seeking to diminish the other person’s character and intelligence.

Second, we need to reflect on the truth that we are the judged and not the judge. Paul wrote, “But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God...So then each one of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore” (Romans 14:10, 12, 13a NASB). Keep in mind we are talking about things that aren’t clearly commanded or condemned. For example, some might find attending an athletic event on Sunday to be an inappropriate manner to spend a Sunday afternoon. This same person may find no problem with watching it at home on his television.

Third, we need to refrain from being a stumbling block to others. Paul wrote, “…but rather determine this –not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way…It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles” (Romans 14:13b, 21 NASB). This warning is especially applicable to those who are vocal about their faith. There is always someone watching their actions, looking for something to justify their own questionable behavior. We need not be overwhelmed by what someone might or might not think, but we can make an effort to not intentionally do something that serves as s stumbling block for the purpose of exerting our right to do it.

Fourth, we need to rely on the Love Principle when making our decisions about things that aren’t clearly spelled out. Paul wrote, “For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:15-17 NASB). I believe Paul is saying we should be willing to forgo something we feel to be acceptable, if we know it is going to offend a fellow believer who does not share our belief. This falls under the command for us to submit one to another.

Fifth, we need to remember to always pursue peace and to build up one another. Paul wrote, “So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Romans 14:19 NASB). If we would heed Paul’s advice and pursue the things we agree upon, the harmony created would present a clearer picture of genuine Christian fellowship to the unbelieving world around us.

Romans 14 gives us five valuable lessons on how to deal with questions that lead to differing opinions among well meaning Christian brothers and sisters. Hopefully, we will all take his advice to heart, when we are debating a brother or sister in Christ about matters that aren’t clearly defined.

Bitterness, the Wire Grass in our Life

A cheap way to have a yard with a plush carpet of grass is to plant a garden in the space reserved for the yard. Do nothing else. When the garden is ready to harvest, pull up the plants, mow what is left and you will have a great stand of grass. In fact, you may have grass my grandfather called wire grass. This grass was tenacious. It refused to die. He dug it up and threw it on the asphalt with its roots in the air, denying it any chance for water or soil. If he failed to get every bit of root, the grass came back as strong as ever in a matter of days.

Wire grass reminds me of bitterness. When bitterness takes root in someone’s life, it can take over. Just as wire grass can ruin a beautiful garden, bitterness can ruin a beautiful life. The focus of the bitterness becomes the driving force behind everything the individual does. Wire grass engulfs the vegetation in a garden causing the produce to bear less than its potential. In the same manner, bitterness extends its long tentacles throughout one’s life, preventing an individual from reaching full potential.

The damage from bitterness is not limited to the person who harbors it. It affects the lives of everyone the individual encounters. It can destroy peaceful relationships in a family, at a work place, in a church, on an athletic team, or in any group of people who are in regular contact with each other. The writer of Hebrews warned against this danger when he wrote, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:15.

Some people attempt to bury their bitterness deep in their subconscious. That is like covering wire grass with dirt. For a time, it will look fine, but it will eventually surface and continue its destruction.

Dealing with the source of bitterness is a process. The process begins when we are willing recognize the problem. It is completed when our bitterness is replaced by God’s love. Paul gives us the process in Ephesians 4:31, 32: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

How Do You Measure Success?

An English visitor to the United States expressed difficulty in understanding the American way of doing things. He was particularly baffled over the way Americans drink tea. He could not understand why we heat it to make it hot and then we turn around and put ice in it to make it cold. To farther complicate matters, we add sugar to make it sweet and then we put lemon in it to make it sour. Certainly, every culture has traditions that seem strange and confusing to visitors.

Confusion does not limit itself to secular things. A visiting Christian from a country where Christians are routinely persecuted might have difficulty understanding some of the things we use to define successful Christians. In our country Christians are often judged to be successful by the size of their bank account, the size of their home, the prestige of their employment, and the number of gadgets they have to play with. What makes all this strange is that the One who is the author and finisher of our faith would not be considered successful if this was the criteria used to determine success.

When one examines the life of Jesus, he/she quickly discovers that Jesus walked away from a respectable trade. He never earned a regular salary. He never saved any money. He never owned a home. He never accumulated a large collection of status symbols. He walked to His destinations. He disappointed His followers because they could not understand what He was all about. Finally, He died a horrible death on a Cross between two criminals. In the eyes of most, He was considered to be a criminal or a political discontent. His only success was that He completed the mission for which He came and He was always obedient to the Heavenly Father who sent Him.

If we are going to continue to worship the Jesus of the New Testament, it would seem to be appropriate for us to change our understanding of success. While there is nothing evil about wealth and fame, they should not be used as the primary ingredients in gauging the success in the life of a Christian. For the Christian success has nothing to do with things such as these. A successful Christian is one who understands and seeks to follow the admonition of Jesus given in Matthew 6:33: “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.” A successful Christian is one who seeks to be obedient to the call of God on his/her life. A successful Christian is one who understands that all the treasures we accumulate on earth will stay here when we leave. It is the treasures that we store up in heaven that are eternal. The reward for being a successful Christian is not a guarantee of a trial free life but it is the joy, peace and abundance one experiences by being obedient to God.

Checking Your Vital Signs

Most medical people will tell you one of the secrets of good health is early detection. This is why it is a good policy to have regular physical checkups. When you go for your checkup, the first thing the doctor does is check your vital signs. He weighs you, listens to your heart and lungs, and takes your blood pressure. He orders a variety of blood test to make sure there are no danger signs. By checking these vital signs, he is able to get a good feel for your physical condition. If one of these vital signs is abnormal, he knows to look deeper to the cause for the abnormality. By identifying a problem early, he can often treat it and prevent it from becoming a major problem.

As surely as there are vital signs that identify a physical problem, there are vital signs that help a disciple of Jesus Christ recognize that he/she is having spiritual problems. Paul recognized this truth. In his second letter to the church at Corinth, He reminded them that it was wise for them to check on their spiritual health. He wrote, “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!” (II Corinthians 13:5a NASB)

Let me suggest four crucial spiritual vital signs that disciples and churches can check to measure how healthy their spiritual life is. First, a healthy disciple will have a deep appreciation and hunger for God’s Word. When there is no interest in God’s Word, it is impossible for someone to grow up strong in the Lord. A steady balanced diet of God’s Word is as important to the spirit as a balanced diet of food is to the body. If it is missing, the spirit becomes weak and is open to a wide variety of attacks by the enemy.

Second, a healthy disciple will recognize that prayer is an essential element in ones spiritual development. Just as our nervous system transmits commands from our brain throughout our body, prayer keeps us in touch with our Head, Jesus Christ. You show me someone who has done great things for God and I will show you someone who has a powerful prayer life.

Third, a healthy disciple understands the importance of fellowship with other believers. The Christian faith was never meant to be a private faith. It was meant to be shared. Paul uses the analogy of the physical body to describe the church. He emphasizes that the body is effective only when it works in harmony with all the part. It makes no sense for the eye to tell the ear that it doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. Each part is important. Working together all the parts can do great things. A healthy disciple understands that he needs others. He understands that it is a two way street. The church needs all of its parts and the individual parts need the church

Fourth, a healthy disciple has the right attitude toward stewardship. He understands that all of his time, talents and treasures belong to God. They are not his to own but they are his to be a steward over. Ultimately, it is God who should determine how he should use these gifts that He has bestowed on him. When someone hoards their time, talents and treasure, it is a sure sign that there is a problem with their spiritual health.

The good news is that we do not have to go to the doctor’s office to check on these spiritual vital signs. We need to get in a quiet place and allow the light of God’s Spirit shine into our lives. His light will reveal the areas upon which we need to improve. However, just as a doctor can prescribe medication for our physical problems but can not force us to take the medications he has prescribed, God’s Spirit can reveal our spiritual needs but He will not force us to follow His cure. Each one of us must decide, if we are going to do what is needed to become spiritually strong. When faced with this choice, it seems to me that our most sensible response is clear. We should follow God’s direction.

Power of Encouragement

One of the greatest joys in life is to watch individuals grow to reach their full potential and to know you may have had a small part in their growth. The secret to this accomplishment is to convince people that they can do great things. True, everyone does not have the same degree of potential but everyone can develop the potential they do have. While there are many things that can be instrumental in motivating someone to reach their potential, there is no greater tool than encouragement.

While most of the secular world understands the importance of the “power of encouragement”, the one place that should understand it best, seems to understand it least. I am speaking of the church. Far too often, the church (people not the building) gives the impression that it expects its members to fail in their efforts to reach their full potential in their Christian walk. This is especially true for the prodigal, who returns to the fold. While outward there may be celebration, inward there is often an undercurrent of skepticism about the sincerity of the individual’s actions.

Wherever this expectation for failure originates, it is not the Scripture. The Scripture clearly instructs us to be encouragers of one another. In Hebrews 12:1 (NASB) we read, “Therefore, since we have a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” While everyone can not agree on who makes up the cloud of witnesses, the overall implication is clear. We have a heavenly host of witnesses watching us and pulling for us. They are not watching expecting us to fail but they are expecting us to run our race successfully. They are our cheering section.

If we have a heavenly cheering section, should we not cheer and encourage one another? Scripture exhorts us to do just that. Paul writes in Romans 14:19 (NASB), “So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” The writer of Hebrews writes in Hebrews 3:13 (NASB), “But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called ‘Today’, lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Neither of these verses refers to success in the secular world. They refer to encouraging each other in the faith. It is hard to live the Christian life in our world. Considering the difficulty, it makes sense for us to stop stoning one another and to start encouraging one another to move forward and to grow to reach maturity in our faith.

Wherever you are in your race, I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on. There will be times when you feel like quitting. There will be times that you stumble and fall. There will be times when you feel those around you are expecting you to fail. When these times come, remember all the people you have pulling for you. Get up; dust yourself off. Continue the race. The victory awaits you at the finish line. With God’s help, you can do it.

Beware of Stereotypes

A group of retired gentlemen from a former church I served met each morning at the local fast food restaurant for breakfast. One morning as they waited to order, a group of bikers entered the restaurant. As they looked back over their shoulder, they could see that the bikers were adorned with the usual leather and chains. Most had long hair, pierced ears and tattoos. The men expected the bikers and their lady friends to be loud and obnoxious, but they went ahead and purchased their usual breakfast, fully expecting that their normal peace and quiet would be lost for this morning.

As they moved toward their table, they walked past the bikers to their table. As they sat down, they glanced at the bikers. To their amazement, on the back of their leather vests was an emblem with the name of their group. Their name was “Bikers for Jesus”.

The men were embarrassed because they had made wrong assumptions based on their stereotype of individuals who belonged to a motorcycle group. After several minutes, one of the men went over to the bikers and began to strike up a conversation. He discovered that the group was in town for a rally that was being held nearby. He said that he and his friends attempted to go to several rallies each year. Their purposes for attending were twofold. First, they enjoyed the camaraderie of their fellow bikers. Second, it gave them an opportunity to share Christ with other bikers.

After several minutes, the bikers crawled on their machines and roared out of the parking lot. The regular customers were left to discuss how wrong they had been about these strangers on motorcycles. It left them feeling guilty because they knew they weren’t nearly as bold in their witness to their friends as these bikers were to their friends.

This experience taught these men a valuable lesson. They learned that it doesn’t pay to judge a man or woman by an arbitrary stereotype developed through misinformation and prejudice. This is a lesson we all need to learn. The world would be a better place if we would trash all of our stereotypes and, if we are going to judge at all, we would judge each person individually and not by predetermined ideas. If we would allow experience and relationship to determine our opinions, we may make new friends that we never thought we would have, and our lives would be the richer for it.

Appreciating Our Differences

My wife and I are very different. She is an extremely intuitive person. When she talks with our children on the phone, she can sense when something is wrong. When I walk through the door at the end of a busy day, she can sense the kind of day I have had. She always wants to know how I feel about things. On the other hand, I am a cognitive person. I tend to want to deal with facts, not feelings. She asks, “How do you feel about this situation?” I ask, “Why is this situation the way that it is?” Her conversations can grow long, while mine are short and to the point.

An improper understanding might suggest my wife is too sentimental and I lack compassion. Neither would be correct. We are different. We both care deeply about those around us, but we deal with things differently. Early in our marriage these differences caused stress in our relationship. In later years, we have come to understand God’s great wisdom in bringing two distinctly different people together.

Understanding Genesis 2:18 has helped to give us an understanding about why we are really good for each other. The verse reads, “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.’” The key is an understanding of the phrase “help meet”. This term literally means to supply that which is missing or to complete. It means that God saw what was lacking in man and gave him his wife to complete him. I believe this is a reciprocal arrangement. It is not about power or control but it is about completing one another.

This principle can be illustrated with a lock and a key. A lock without a key is of no use. A key without a lock is of no use. Together, they can provide a needed service. It would be foolish to sit around and to debate which one was more important. The fact is the lock and the key need each other to fulfill their purpose. The same principle applies in the life of a husband and wife.

Understanding this principle has enabled my wife and I to understand our differences shouldn’t be sources of irritation but sources of strength. We complement each other. We help provide balance to each other. We have come to appreciate our differences. We thank God for our differences, because we know together we are at our best. Coming to this understanding has given us forty-three years together.

If you and your spouse are total opposites like my wife and I, remember your differences are God’s blessing to you. God brought you together to complement each other, not to confound each other. Appreciate the differences and let them bring balance to your life and your relationship.