Differences Make Us Stronger

My wife and I are very different. She is an extremely intuitive person. When she talks with someone, she wants to probe into the feelings behind what is said. When she talks with our children on the phone, she can generally sense when something is wrong. When I walk through the door at the end of a busy day, she can sense the kind of day I have had. On the other hand, I am a cognitive person. I tend to want to deal with facts. My intuition is not nearly as strong as my wife’s intuition is. When I talk to our children on the phone, I normally seek the basic facts about how things are going. Most of the time I am satisfied and my desire to know is fulfilled. While she tends to ask, “How do you feel about this situation?” I tend to ask, “Why is this situation the way that it is?”


An improper understanding might suggest that my wife is too sentimental and that I lack compassion. Neither would be a correct evaluation. We are simply different. We both care deeply about those around us, but we deal with things differently. Early in our marriage, before we had a better understanding of these differences, they sometimes caused stress in our relationship. In later years, we have come to understand God’s great wisdom in bringing two distinctly different people together in marriage.

Understanding Genesis 2:18 has helped to give us an understanding about why we are really good for each other. The verse reads, “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.’” The key is an understanding of the phrase “help meet”. This term literally means to supply that which is missing or to complete. It is sad that some use it to suggest that a man should lord over his wife. It really means that God saw what was lacking in man and gave him his wife to complete him. I believe that this is a reciprocal arrangement. It is not about power or control but it is about completing one another.

This principle can be illustrated with a lock and a key. A lock without a key is of no use. A key without a lock is of no use. Together, they can provide a needed service. It would be foolish to sit around and to debate which one was more important. The fact is the lock and the key need each other to fulfill their purpose.

Understanding this principle has enabled my wife and I to understand that our differences should not be sources of irritation but sources of strength. We compliment each other. We help provide balance for each other. We have come to appreciate our differences. This appreciation has enlarged our ministry and helped us to move forward toward reaching our full potential. We thank God for our differences, because we know together we are at our best.

My purpose for this reflection is not to give a close-up look into the personal lifes. However, it would please us to know that someone might learn from our experiences. Hopefully, someone will be able to make an application to his/her life. Remember, if you and your spouse are opposites, God brought you together to compliment each other and not to confound each other. Appreciate the differences and let them bring balance to your life and your relationship.